In the digital age, the first step to asking someone out on a date is via Instagram Direct. It’s convenient, low-risk, and cost-effective. But there’s a proper way to execute the art of DM sliding without appearing like a total creep. If you want to master this modern flirting method, here are several things you should keep in mind before you even click that Send button.
Choose the Right Prospect
If you want to have a higher success rate, tap into people you’ve been following for a while now. Perhaps you have a former colleague or high school batchmate you’ve meant to catch up with. Since you share some history, sliding into their DMs wouldn’t feel weird at all.
But if you want to strike up a conversation with someone outside your friends list, make sure you’re following them on Instagram before invading their inbox. If they accept your request and give you a follow back, then congratulations! But if they didn’t accept you the first time, that’s a telltale sign you have no shot with them. Don’t make the mistake of sending out repeated requests; that’ll make you look outright creepy. Once you’ve been rejected, move onto the next prospect.
There’s a lot of flirting going on behind-the-scenes of Instagram. Nowadays, when people want to show their interest in another person, they swing by their profile and go on a liking spree, digging deep into the farthest end of the grid. If that person of interest goes to their profile and does the same thing, then that means you’ve hit the jackpot, my friend. That is a great way to know if you have a shot before even shooting them a message. But when doing this technique, make sure to like a variety of photos, from selfies to travel snaps to food porn because they can see right through you (and your intentions) just by looking at the kind of pictures they double-tap.
Start With an Engaging Question
When you’re ready to waltz into someone’s DM, use a light, sincere, and friendly tone. Open with a topic that is interesting to that person. If you happen to have a common denominator, use that to your advantage. For instance, upon going through their feed, you discover that you have the same taste in TV shows, you can DM them with, “I could tell that you’re a fan of Narcos, too.” If you went to the same school, you can go “You look familiar. Did you go to this school?” If you have the same mutual friends, you can start up with “Hey! How do you know him?” Whatever knowledge you have of that person, you can use that as a conversation starter. If that person you’re eyeing on finds you cute and engaging, then you’re one step ahead of the game.
Sustain the Conversation via Stories
A subtle way to sustain a conversation is through reacting to their Stories. Be grateful for Instagram Stories. You can come up with a good topic just by looking at their Stories (in a non-obsessive way). For example, they uploaded the third day of their juice cleanse; you can ask, “Is it effective? Been meaning to try that!” If they posted a pic of a fantastic hostel they’ve been staying at, you can slide in a “Looks amazing there. How’s the experience so far?”
You have to turn your message into a question, so they will feel the need to respond and not just leave you on “seen.” If they answer back with enthusiasm, then ease your way into the conversation. Gradually explore other topics you both find interesting. The little things you notice about them — their taste in music or love for dogs — you can also toss that in to keep the conversation going.
Pop the Question
If you engage in Instagram flirting, you have to know how to read the room. When a person ignores your message or drops only a “like” every time you slide in a comment, chances are, that person is not into you. Meanwhile, if they manage to talk to you every day, there’s no denying the connection between the two of you. It’s now time to take it up a notch and ask them out. You can drop subtle hints like, “Really? I’ve been there several times. I can take you there if you want” or “There’s this restaurant that sells the best seafood. You’ll love it there!” You can also be a little straightforward and send, “I’ll tell you, only if you agree to go out with me.” As long as you’re 100% sure that the feeling is mutual, don’t be afraid to pop the question.
If you want to find success in DM sliding, these six pointers will surely help you knock the socks off anyone. But keep in mind, you can meet a lot of interesting people outside your phone screen; you don’t always have to run to Instagram for help.