As individuals, we are all wired differently. We have different personalities and temperaments that get us in or out of trouble, depending on how we respond. We all have our own set of weaknesses that failed us but we also have our own strengths that have served us well.
However, sometimes those same strengths end up becoming our own weaknesses as well.
For instance, a person who’s highly adaptable to any situation will blend in and thrive in whatever environment he is put in. It is his ability to adapt quickly to circumstances that allow him to immediately find that sweet spot where he starts to get comfortable and unfazed by the recent changes.
However, this same strength of adaptability can be his downfall as well because in most cases adaptable people are quick to find their comfort zones and settle. This leads to a hindrance in their progress and growth because they have become too comfortable for their own good.
Strengths in the context of marriage.
Similarly, in marriage, a husband and a wife have different strengths to offer to make the relationship work. The main thing about it is that when they were still courting and dating, their strengths were part of what made them attractive but once they got married and the years went by, these strengths became annoyances to each other.
For example, your spouse’s attention to detail may have impressed you when you were just dating because you saw how organized and disciplined she is but when you got married, you only saw her as a stuck-up and rigid person who’s difficult to work with. It is during times like this that you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your point of view about your spouse.
So if you’re still dating and not yet married, take this time to take a deeper look at each other’s characters. Put a pin on wedding plans first. While it’s a wonderful experience to go shopping for the right wedding venue or wedding photographer and videographer service packages, focus on the more important things first which is discovering and understanding each other’s giftings.
You are both made different.
First things first. Understand that just because you’re different from each other doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. Different is not bad. Different is just different.
You may find yourselves to be exact opposites like opposite poles of a magnet but just like a magnet, those opposite poles are the ones that attract each other and keep both ends together.
Your differences actually complement each other. Individually you may have weaknesses but together, those weaknesses are compensated by each other’s strengths.
You need to learn to trust each other’s differences.
Regardless of what faith system you believe in, there is a reason why you and your mate were brought together by God, Allah, or the universe. And that is to do far better work as a couple helping each other fulfill your purpose in life compared to doing so as individuals.
If you learn to see how your partner’s strengths complement your weaknesses and how it can be paired with your own giftings, you’ll have a greater appreciation for the formidable team that you can be, one that’s able to get through the most difficult challenges that life can throw your way.
How do you resolve problems and conflicts?
One other aspect of your relationship that you have to evaluate is how both of you handle conflicts. Is your spouse passive when it comes to conflicts while you’re more aggressive or vice versa?
It’s healthy to have both approaches at home because both passive and aggressive problem-solving approaches can help both of you come to a well-balanced resolution.
On one hand, the upside of wanting to deal with conflicts head-on can help you take immediate action to rectify the situation. On the other hand, not all problems can and should be immediately addressed. Sometimes it is better to let things unfold even further in order for you to make a better decision together. Then in other cases, it’s just wiser to pick your battles and not let problems affect you, especially if it’s not really serious nor harmful if only to maintain the peace inside the home.
The ability to keep each other in check helps balance things out. This is especially helpful because cooler minds tend to come up with the best decisions and solutions to problems.
For a marriage to succeed, both spouses have to put in the hard work of understanding each other and bearing with one another. Having a greater understanding of your spouse’s strengths will make you appreciate it more in light of your own strengths and weaknesses.